


We'll Take the Long Roads

by OperaticSkeletons



Category: Brallon - Fandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-08 09:49:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1936335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OperaticSkeletons/pseuds/OperaticSkeletons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon can’t sleep and Dallon helps him forget his new album jitters</p>
            </blockquote>





	We'll Take the Long Roads

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Keep Driving by Woodale

It’s 2:30 in the morning and Brendon has been laying in bed staring at the ceiling for the last three hours. All the thoughts racing through his head and the knots in his stomach make it hard to sleep. He hasn’t eaten much the last couple of days but he still feels the need to vomit. Fuck, he just wishes he could sleep.

He’s given the last two years of his life to this album. Worked his ass off everyday to get everything just right. They turn it in to the label next week and now his insides feel like they’re going to spew out of his mouth. He’s given it his all. Put his blood, sweat and tears into every single song. Yet he still can’t help but feel like it’s going to let everyone down. He can’t shake the vision from his head of the fans taking one listen and gathering together to burn their albums in giant piles while screaming for their blood to be shed.

What if everyone’s right. What if they can’t do this on their own? What if panic! isn’t panic! without Ryan and Jon?

He groans and curls into the fetal position trying to stop himself from screaming into his pillow. He stares at his phone on the nightstand and thinks of calling Ryan. Maybe he could send him a copy and see what he thinks. No, too weird. Still too soon. Even though everything’s good between them it still wouldn’t be right.

He contemplates calling Spencer but he’s already put up with so much of his anxiety over the past few months he doesn't need Brendon disturbing his sleep too.

He reaches for the phone and scrolls through his contacts. So many names yet no one he’d feel comfortable enough to call at 2am to force his troubled thoughts on.

He gets to Pete’s name and stops. He could call him. He’s always been there for him. He would talk him down and convince him that he’s just being stupid. He’s always good for that. Brendon’s pretty sure he’s on dad duty this week though. Better not bother him even though the fucker never seems to sleep anyways.

He scrolls down then back up one more time and one more name pops out at him.

Dallon.

He could call Dallon. He’s always good at cheering everyone up. Always making people laugh and joking around. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Dallon have a serious moment now that he thinks about it.

He takes a second then pushes call before he can talk himself out of it.

It rings five times and now his stomach is twisting twice as much as before. This was a horrible idea he’s sleeping he doesn’t ne-

“Hello?” A very sleepy Dallon answers seconds before voicemail picks up.

Brendon’s mind goes blank and he leaves nothing but dead air between them.

“Brendon? What’s up?” He’s still half asleep if Brendon hangs up now maybe he’ll think it was a dream.

His stomach twists and turns again and he knows if he hangs up he’ll lay there all night staring at the ceiling and wishing he hadn’t.

“Hey, Dall…I uh…just needed someone to talk to.”

He hears a yawn and a mumbled, “Hmmm?”

“I just, yeah, couldn’t sleep and didn’t know who to call. Look, I’m really sorry I’ll let you get back to sleep. I’ll talk to you later.”

“No it’s okay. I’m up, I’m up.” He can hear Dallon rubbing a hand over his face as he yawns again.

He tries to let him go one more time but Dallon insists that it’s okay.

Now that he finally has someone to talk to his mind has gone completely blank. ‘Real smooth, Urie.’ He thinks as he silently curses himself.

Seconds pass and Dallon asks if everything’s okay. He’s not really sure how to answer. Everything is fine. Just stupid self doubt getting in the way.

He suddenly feels trapped in his own skin. Like his soul is itching to get out. The thoughts in his head grow louder and louder, screaming at him now. He thinks about hanging up before he just starts shouting nonsense into Dallon’s ear. He curls onto his side and then an idea hits him.

“Hey, Dall?”

“Hmmmpf?”

“Could you be ready in, say twenty minutes?”

“For?”

“Just a quick drive. I’ll come and get you?”

There’s a few seconds of silence. “Uhhh yeah. Twenty minutes. I’ll be ready.”

They hang up and he races to get dressed. Leaving with nothing more than his wallet and car keys.

-

It takes awhile to find a gas station that’s still open but he’s sure Dallon won’t mind the extra time to get ready. He slowly makes his way through the aisles while the tank fills up, acting like snack selection is a very important matter. After touring with Dallon over the last few years he’s picked up on his shitty eating habits while he’s away from home. He grabs a few bags of doritos and a dr pepper for Dallon, a few donuts and energy drinks to split between them. He’s not really sure how long they’ll be gone or where they’re even going. He looks around as he puts the junk down and throws in a few packs of beef jerky and some gum. That should be enough to keep two grown men alive for a few days if need be.

When he pulls up to the apartment complex the only lights on are Dallon’s. Two bright squares in a wall of darkness. The door opens seconds after he knocks and he’s surprised at how put together and awake Dallon looks despite having just woken up. He stands in the doorway taking up the whole frame with worry all over his face. Brendon chooses to ignore it and snakes his way around him and into the apartment. He looks around studying the room like he hasn’t been in here hundreds of times before. It hits him that he has no idea what he’s doing here. He thinks of apologizing to Dallon one last time and asking if he can crash on the couch. Sleep this off and just get over it.

When he turns to him Dallon looks twice as worried and before he can tell him he can go back to sleep he stops him.

"Hey, man, is everything all right?"

Yes. Everything’s fine. That’s the problem. He has no reason to feel like this yet here he is.

"Yeah. Yeah, everything’s good."

Dallon raises and eyebrow and looks like he’s waiting for the catch. When he doesn’t say anything he goes on. “You just felt like dropping by at two am on a tuesday? You miss me that much?” He smirks but Brendon can still see concern in his eyes.

Suddenly the wall he had up comes crashing down and his shoulders slump as he deflates in the middle of the living room. He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a deep breath.

"I don’t know, man, just…I don’t know. New album jitters? I just can’t sleep. I feel like this whole thing could go either way, y’know? They’re either going to love it or hate it and there’s nothing I can do about it anymore. Everyone’s been waiting to see how we do. I feel like they’ve been waiting to watch us crash and burn without Ryan and Jon. I just freaked a little I guess." He gives Dallon a sheepish look. "I’m sorry. You can go back to sleep. Is it all right if I crash on the couch? I’ll even cook you breakfast in the morning." He wiggles his eyebrows trying to convince him that he’s okay now.

Dallon doesn’t answer though. He just stands there looking at Brendon with a blank look on his face like he’s waiting for him to have a full on breakdown or something. After awhile Brendon thinks he might have managed to stop time with his freak out and that Dallon is frozen in place. He waves a hand in front of his face already thinking of all the cool things he could do before time starts again when Dallon blinks really fast and nods his head like he’s made up his mind on something. Brendon slouches his shoulders, a little sad that he won’t get to go over to Spencer’s and paint his toenails and stick his hair in pigtails while time had ceased.

"So can I? Crash on the couch? I guess I could just drive back home. S’not a big deal." He shrugs and looks down at his feet, feeling guilty that he woke Dallon up for nothing.

"No. You can’t crash on the couch." He looks Brendon in the eyes and shakes his head.

"Oh. Hey, no, that’s cool. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, man, sorry for wa-" Before he can finish Dallon is grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the door. A look of confusion covers Brendon’s face. "Uhhh, Dall?"

"Come on we’re doing whatever it is you came here to do."

"Well that’s the thing, I didn’t really have anything planned. I was kind of just going to get in the car and drive."

Dallon grabs a hoodie off the hook behind the door and smiles at him. “Great! Then we’ll go for a drive.”

Brendon had already talked himself out of actually doing anything and was ready to crawl onto the couch and sleep the rest of the weird feelings off but Dallon is wide eyed and pulling him towards the car now and his heart is beating fast with excitement.

Dallon moves the bags of junk off the passenger seat and raises his eyebrows at Brendon. “Nothing planned, huh?”

Brendon shrugs. “Not really. Just figured no matter what we did we’d need food. We are growing boys you know.”

"That we are. My mama says one day I’ll be big and strong, tall as an old oak tree as long as I eat my veggies." He smiles and bites into a stick of beef jerky from the pack Brendon opened on the way over.

"Dude, you must have inhaled broccoli as a kid. You’re taller than two fucking oak trees."

-

He takes his time getting out of the neighborhood, taking random turns and just driving through places they’ve always overlooked. After ten minutes he turns to Dallon and confesses that he has no idea where he’s going or where they should go. When he first got the idea he thought they’d drive down to Hollywood to take pictures next to the stars or down to Tijuana to get shitty cheap tattoos. Now he’s in a calmer state and kind of just feels like driving for awhile.

Dallon looks at him and shrugs. “Just drive. Get on the freeway and see where we end up.”

Fair enough. He asks Dallon if he’s sure he wants to be dragged along giving him one more chance to back out and he shoots Brendon a look, daring him to ask one more time. The radio is on low in the background and they talk music, leaving their own band out of the conversation. Dallon doesn’t push him to talk more about what’s bothering him and Brendon is grateful that he’s letting him breathe.

They sing along to the radio while chewing on jerky and laughing at old memories they’ve built up over the years. Brendon lets his eyes drift over to Dallon for a second or two and he’s really glad that he’s the one he called. Dallon just seems to have a calming effect on him. He ignores the flutter deep in his stomach every time he makes Dallon laugh. He’s used to it by now, ignoring his feelings. He’s pretty sure he’s been a little in love with Dallon since the moment they met. He took one look into those icey blues and was a goner. But Dallon had a girlfriend when he first came along and although he’s always made his support of same sex couples known he’s never hinted that he’s into men so Brendon has kept his unrequited love to himself.

Dallon had been single for a little over six months now. Brendon felt like a shitty friend for feeling a bubble of excitement in his gut the day he told them they had broken up. The other guys had gotten along with her pretty well and were bummed to see her go but Dallon didn’t seem too broken up over it. Brendon made sure to let him know he was there if he needed to talk but he seemed to move on pretty quickly.

He gets snapped out of his thoughts when Dallon tells him to verge onto another highway. He looks at him a little unsure.

"Are you sure? We’re getting a little far from home."

Dallon shrugs. “I don’t have anything to do tomorrow.”

Brendon smiles as he flicks the blinker on.

They drive for another two hours and then Dallon jerks forward and tells him to take the next exit. He raises an eyebrow at him but doesn’t question it as he obeys.

The sun is slowing making it’s way into the sky now, splashing around the softest greys, blues, and oranges.

"Pismo Beach?" He looks at Dallon who smiles widely and points out which turns he wants him to make. They wind through crowded streets until they’re pulling up in a lot right in front of the boardwalk.

"Come on."

They get out and stretch their aching limbs. Despite having been up all night Brendon feels alert and ready for whatever Dallon has in mind.

It turns out he doesn’t have anything planned really. He leads them down to the beach and starts walking along the water.

They don’t speak as the sun starts to get too bright and the fresh sea air fills their lungs.

It’s too early for families on vacation to be out yet and only a few surfers occupy the water patiently waiting for waves to ride in on.

They stop when Dallon points down and runs out to grab something before the next wave comes in.

"Look! Sand Dollar!"

"Aww cool!"

Brendon’s face lights up as Dallon hands it to him.

"You can have it."

"Really?"

He shrugs and laughs at how excited he is over something so simple. Only Brendon.

They keep their eyes out for more as they walk along and by the time they climb up to sit down on a group of large rocks near the water the front pocket of Brendon’s sweater is weighed down with different sized sand dollars and shells.

For a second Dallon wonders if he’d still be as excited about them if it weren’t him who was giving them to him.

They watch as seagulls scurry across the sand picking at the tiny crabs that are in the shallow water.

"Thanks for this."

Dallon keeps his eyes on the birds. “No problem, man.”

"No, really. You didn’t have to. It’s just, I didn’t have anyone else to call. I felt like I was going crazy just laying there trapped in my own mind."

He watches the side of Dallon’s face as he shrugs. “It’s what I’m here for.” For a second he wants to ask him what this is all about but decides to let it go. He’ll open up when he’s ready.

"Have you been here before? You seemed to know where you were going."

He keeps his eyes on Dallon’s hand as he raises it to rub at his neck.

"Uhh, yeah. When I first moved out here I got homesick. I didn’t really know what to do so I just got in the car and drove." He finally turns to smile at Brendon. "Kind of like tonight. I ended up here. Haven’t been back since but it calmed me down a bit. I just sat out here and stared at the water. Told myself everything would be okay." He shrugs.

Brendon blushes when he realizes he’s smiling a little starry eyed at him. They turn back to the water and sit in silence for awhile.

When Brendon finally breaks the silence he’s ready to talk.

"Does doing what we do ever freak you out?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you make music it’s you opening yourself up for the world to see, right?"

"Yeah."

"Does that ever freak you out? That you’re giving this piece of yourself away and risking the chance of people just ripping it apart?"

He gives it a thought and then nods slowly. “Yeah, actually. You never know if everyone’s just going to hate it. It’s basically them telling you you’re not good enough.”

"Exactly!"

"But there’s also the chance of them loving it. Music means a lot to people. It’s all some have. There’s the chance that your words could save someone." He turns to stare right into his eyes. "I think that’s worth the risk, right?"

Brendon’s lips pull up in a crooked smile. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

Dallon leans back to pat a hand to his shoulder. “I’ve heard what you’ve got. It’ll do great.”

"Thanks, Dall."

His heart fluttered when Dallon doesn’t pull away. He held his breath and felt his stomach knot up but then he was leaning away and Brendon was cursing himself for wanting to kiss his friend.

He snaps himself out of it and puts the smile back on his face and hopes it doesn’t look too forced.

"Wanna go get some breakfast? I want hash browns. And sausage! Lots and lots of sausage."

Dallon stands up rubbing at his eyes and Brendon feels bad for the hundredth time that day for waking him up.

"Sounds good."

He hops up to jump off the rock but his foot slips and his legs buckle under him.

"Woah! I got you." Dallon grabs him awkwardly and now Brendon isn’t sure if his heart is pounding because he almost cracked his head open on the rocks or because he can feel Dallon’s breath on his lips.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Before he could push him away and make light of the situation Dallon leaned forward and softly brought their lips together. He pulled back and stared into his eyes asking an unknown question.

Brendon’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

Dallon let go of him but Brendon quickly pulled him back knowing he was about to freak out.

"Shit, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that!"

"Don’t."

Dallon gave him a confused look until he pulled him in for another kiss. He felt him relax against him as their lips moved together.

They kiss for what feels like hours until their stomachs are demanding food and they make their way back to the car.

They find a small diner that’s open and smile stupidly at each other as they eat. Dallon feels like he’s a kid with a crush. Every time Brendon smiles at him his stomach flips and his cheeks blush.

When they’re done eating they decide to go back to the beach. They make their way over to their rocks and sit side by side. Brendon’s stomach flutters when he feels Dallon reach for his hand. His skin is rough and warm and Brendon never wants to let go.

They haven’t really talked since the kiss and Dallon figures they should talk about it sooner rather than later. It’s obvious they were both into it so it shouldn’t be that hard.

"I’m really glad you didn’t freak out."

Brendon smiles softly and laughs. “Sorry if I scared you. I was a little caught off guard.”

"Sorry."

"No need to apologize. It was a good kind of shock."

"I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile now."

Brendon is more than a little surprised. “Really?” He nods. “Wow. I had no idea.”

"Good to know you never caught me staring at your ass all those times."

He smiles as Brendon clutches his stomach and leans back laughing. “Yeah, no. Totally clueless. What about me? Ever catch me giving you googly eyes? I know Spencer has. Gives me shit for it all the time.”

Dallon shakes his head and wonders what Spencer thinks about all this.

"Nope. If I would’ve known that you wanted to kiss me as bad as I wanted to kiss you I would’ve made a move a long time ago."

"So much wasted making out time."

"I’m sure we’ll make it up."

He feels Brendon smile against his lips as he moves in to kiss him. When he pulls back he sees that Brendon’s cheeks are flushed.

"I’ve liked you for a really long time."

Dallon’s heart is pounding in his chest. “I fell in love with your smile the first day we met.”

"Wow, we suck. It’s been how long? And neither of us caught on until now." He laughs and shakes his head then turns to look into Dallon’s eyes. "So what now?"

A million things race through Dallon’s head. He doesn’t want to freak him out by asking for too much. He decides that it’s went pretty well so far so he might as well just go for it.

"I get jealous when I see you flirting with other people. I think about kissing you at least seventy five times a day and when you mess with me on stage I’m always terrified I’ll pop a boner. I stole one of your shirts off the bus one time and have woke up pitching tents after dreaming of your lips." He’s not sure if he’s going too far or not but Brendon isn’t running so he takes that as a good sign. He takes a deep breath before finishing. "If you feel the same way I wouldn’t mind calling you my boyfriend." He feels his face grow hot as he looks down at their linked hands.

The first time he realized he had feelings for another guy he was fifteen. He had a stronger attraction to girls and usually stuck to dating them but he’d kissed a few guys and had no problem with his sexuality. Brendon was the first guy to have him fall head over heels though. He’d never been this far gone over a guy before. It excited him more than it scared him.

He jiggled his knee nervously as he watched Brendon’s eyebrows knit together in thought. He tried to pull his hand away to wipe off the sweat that had been building up but Brendon tightened his grip on it and kept him in place. He looked up at him then as he chewed on his bottom lip and then broke out in a smile that had Dallon feeling dizzy.

"I’d like that."

He let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Really?”

Brendon nodded his head excitedly. “Yes.”

Without another word Dallon leaned over to kiss him harder than he had before. All the pent up want from over the years finally getting release.

He felt light headed when he bit Brendon’s bottom lip and he whimpered into the kiss.

He pulled away when Brendon yawned against him.

"Come on, let’s go find a hotel."

Brendon gave him a curious look.

"We’re both too tired to drive back. We can get a room and come back to the beach later. Walk around, buy some souvenirs we don’t need, whatever you feel like doing. Last time I was here I ate at this little sandwich shop and I swear to you they are the greatest sandwiches on earth. We can go there then drive back when you’re ready to go home."

Brendon had his head rested on his shoulder now and was smiling softly as he hummed.

"Mmmmm yes to all of it."

"Come on." He pushed him up and took his hand as they made their way back to the car.

They found a room not too far away from the beach and were too tired to be nervous about sharing a bed. Not that they hadn’t before, of course. They’d shared beds many times. One time they even had to squeeze Ian on with them when the hotel said they didn’t get their reservations and they all had to share a tiny room. They had even cuddled before, both of them oblivious to the butterflies they both now know they were feeling at the time. Brendon was a touchy person. It was never weird for him to cuddle anyone.

Brendon curled into Dallon now and nuzzled into his neck. Dallon rubbed a hand along his back and the two fell asleep in no time.

Going back and facing the music suddenly didn’t seem so scary anymore


End file.
